FaLLeN AnGeL

i miss you so……

though you are not here wherever I go or whatever I do
I see your face in my mind and I miss you so

I miss telling you everything…I miss our eyes secretly giving each other confidence
I miss your touch… I miss our excitement together

I miss everything we share….
I dont like missing you its a very cold and lonely feeling

I wish that I could be with you right now where the warmth of our love would melt the winter snows

But since I cant be with you right now
I will have to be content just dreaming about when we’ll be together again….

Can you tell me
How can one miss what she’s never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that’s to late
And how could I really mean the words I’m bout to say

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it’s impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say I should’ve grabbed you up and never let you go
I should’ve went out with you
I should’ve made you my boo boy
Yes that’s one time I should’ve broke the rules
I should’ve went on a date
Should’ve found a way to escape
Should’ve turned a almost into
If it happened now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn’t real
And if it didn’t happen why does my heart feel

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it’s impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

(sometimes I wanna rub ya, some nights I wanna hug ya)
And you seem to be the perfect one for me
You (some nights I wanna touch ya but tonight I wanna love ya)
You’re all that I ever wanted
And you’re my everything yes its true
Boy its hard to be close to you
My love
I know it may sound crazy
But I’m in love with you

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it’s impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there (sometimes I wanna rub ya)
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce (but tonight I wanna love ya)
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said its impossible to miss when you never had
Never, never almost had you (but tonight I wanna love ya)

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.

You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend.

You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin!

Life is a funny thing you know? I mean things can happen and things will happen, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, but that in essence makes life what it is, but that doesn’t make life complicated, what makes life complicated is the possible and the inevitable. The aspects of which life contains.

I mean it’s possible to enjoy life
It’s possible you’ll be here tomorrow
It’s possible you’ll fall in love tomorrow
It’s even possible you may die tomorrow

But it’s inevitable that you’ll live life
It’s inevitable you’ll be somewhere tomorrow (whether here or there)
It’s Inevitable you’ll fall in love at some point in life (whether it’s today or tomorrow)
And as unfortunate and cold as it may be it’s also inevitable that you’ll die (Wheter it’s today or tomorrow)

There are many more possibilities and inevitabilities in life that exsist, the hard part is making the choices and accepting what you know to expect.

Being able to do these with confidence and conviction is the complications of life, nothing more, nothing less.

After reading this it’s your choice wether to live life and wait for the inevitables or make the choices (Creating the possibilities) in which to live your life whilst expecting the inevitables to eventually get in your way.

There will not ever be anyone like me.
I am special because I am unique.
I am stardust and dreams.
I am light.
I am love and hope.
I am hugs and sometimes tears.
I am the words "I love you".
I am swirls of blue, gree, red, yellow, purple, orange,                  and the colors no one can name
I am the sky, the sea, the earth.
I trust yet I fear.
I hide yet I dont hold anything back.
I am free
I am a child becoming an adult.
I am me, and me is just right.

Since 2nd of this month ive been so busy… working 7 days a week : 53 hours a week… i usually work 39 hours a week… its not that im complaining… hehe… to be exact today is my 14th day working without day off.. i felt so exhausted already… I worked mon - fri at the hotel… then on weekends at w8rose.. i realize my life became boring.. lol… im doing same things everyday.. no fun… its fun at work but what im trying to say is no social life… no time for myself… or family..  no going out… no dates… no time to meet up with friends… its completely social suicide!!! Anyway its only 2 weeks left and im just going to work on weekdays!!!! yehey…  Bout my new job… im learning, loving, & enjoying every minute of it… but at the same time im worried coz after 3 months. have to find another job..not unless they want to keep me… Im thinking what im going to do next… Find a job or enroll at International Academy of Travel & do my training at waterford airport in ireland or in gatwick airport… until now i cant make up my mind… but we’ll see.. whatever comes… ill just grab it :) 

another thing that been bugging my mind lately is ..umm.. i dont know how im going to say it.. i dont know what it is.. but somehow i envy my friends… like theyre all settled down already.. having their own family.. and kids…. just last month my friend trissha gave birth to a healthy girl.. and i think Camille is due this month.  and almost most of my friends. Im the only one left single…  My friend Pinky is getting marry soon… she wants me to be a bride’s maid… of course its my pleasure.. but how come im just always the bride’s maid… not the bride! hehe… im also going to help her find her dress, the reception theme, etc… she wants its to be simple and elegant.. and i will do my best to help.. but wait.. where am i going to start???

sometimes i wonder when im going to meet him.. or maybe i met him already but i was busy looking for someone else.. i cant wait to feel… how its feels to be inlove again… this time im ready to love again…. i know i always say that im ready.. but now im completely sure that im ready.. hehehe.. ssshhhh….

xtine

cant believe its 2008 na!   2007 was a good year for me…  so many things happened.. like last April "Grand Reunion of SOTO Family" in Cuyo Palawan. which is a huge success… i successfully finished my Virgin Atlantic course… kahit na i was in pinas during my review time.. hehehe..  and then i was offered a job at Holiday inn.. kahit only for 3 months (ill start tomorrow.. ) ive got new found sisters… the addictus chatmus gurls (ACG): Abby, Ate Michelle, Ate Noriam, Ate Lani, Ate Lizza, Ate Cres & ate patricia na ive met in CP..and kuya mandy na whenever na kaka ym ko im always sad or in bad mood.. he always makes me laugh…so many peeps ive met in CP like uncle henry & uncle fort.. my uncle’s from Arguelles side..  kuya diony, kuya lee, basta so many peeps… oh yeah pati pala c ehem… hahhaha. sssshhhh… thanks to cuyopress.com..  ate michelle, ate noriam & abby.. who we’re behind me during my hardest time…  and so many good things happened… yoko lang i post dito.. hehehe…

anyway here’s my

new year’s resolution

hopefully this time magawa ko lahat.. hehe.. last year kasi hindi… 

this year ill try my best

*FAMILY - spend more time with my family, communicate more with my families back home.. kahit na maging busy ulit ako…

*DRIVE - apply for a driving liscence and take driving lesson. (this one supposed to be my last year New year’s resolution.. 

*SWIM - ok dont laugh.. yes i dont know how to swim.. now i have to take up swimming lessons. i got a phobia kasi but now its time to face my fear

*KEEP FIT - need to hit the gym again..  nah forget about that.. im too lazy for this

*DANCE MORE - enroll at Pineapple Dance Studio..  any kind of dance.. oops except breakdancing and samba (i’ve tried samba 2 years ago… pero ayoko na.. hehe)

*SPAIN - visit spain again.. my second home… and practice more in Spanish.. damn.. im losing my spanish

*CUYUNON - more practice, pronounciation, etc.. anyone wants to help me?

* CHOCOLATE - allowed only once a month??? ill try

LOVE - hopefully this year ill be lucky… haha…  i wonder where he is… 

TRAVEL -  do more travel.. go to paris, milan, barcelona, prague, belgium (again.. hehe.. cant resist the belgian chocolates), vienna ( to see uncle henry & ate noriam), go to philippines (if i save enough money..hehe).. and explore more of United Kingdom… 

GOOD GURL - ill try to be good always… ssshhh… hehe…  we’ll see im such a stubborn.. 

hmm.. what else??? i think that all…

new year… new job.. new ME!

oh forget about the Chocolate..  i dont think i can do it.. im such a CHOCOholic

do you know why at an early age, we were taught how to do "close - open"? so that when the right time comes we would know when to hold on and when to let go….

hmm..  i think i never learn that when i was a child.. ha!ha!

Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

Name the last five Heismann trophy winners.

Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.

Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor or actress.

Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is,

none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz.

See how you do on this one:

List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your life

are not the ones with the most credentials,

the most money,

or the most awards.

They are the ones who care.